i do not know what happened today. the goal was sub-1:20 and i was pretty confident i could do it. not only did i not meet that goal, i ran a minute slower than last year. nothing felt right today. my legs were shot to hell by mile 5, and mentally everything was very negative. i kept trying to pull myself out of it and find some fire, but the only things going through my head were...you're weak. you're slow. you're running like a clunky dinosuar (it's true, i could see it in my shadow).
i was so out of it that i ran straight into a giant fluorescent orange "road work ahead" sign. i whacked my shoulder hard and it left a nice mark. my brother asked if i had been shot with paintball gun.
it's a sign...
i didn't use my watch, so i don't have any splits, but it's probably for the best that i wasn't seeing how poorly things were going. i saw the clock at 1:20:33 when i still had 200+ meters to go and knew i wasn't even going to go under 1:21. i was really mad at myself at this point. i never got into the race and i didn't compete at all. i ran alone basically the entire time. i could see natalie and sariah up ahead but i had no speed, power, or will to even try to get up with them. eventually they built a big enough gap that i knew i would never catch them. just a really poor performance and attitude from me today.
so...a derailment. i feel like i have been teetering and today i cracked. now i have to decide what to do -- rework my training and/or goals for des news, or stay the course and hope i can bounce back from a bad race.
i went on a long cooldown to try and degrump but it didn't seem to work. sorry for the negativity.
go ray allen.